I spent years dating the wrong people—repeatedly. I ended up in familiar scenarios that left me frustrated and confused. When I sat down to reflect on what was happening, I noticed some familiar reasons why people don’t work out. With some people I dated, there was a clear mismatch of needs and values. And with others, I recognized that after the three-month honeymoon period, my idea of who the person was did not match the reality of who they are. These are common challenges that most people face when dating. As it turns out, there’s actually a psychological explanation: People like me who feel the emotions, mental states, and physical symptoms of other people—known as empaths—face unique predicaments, many of which lead them to often date the wrong types of people. Why? A few reasons: This might look like knowing someone is not a good match and then, after spending time together with them, overriding your own inner knowing with the other person’s belief that you are a great match. Or having a conversation with a good friend who is convinced the person you are dating is a perfect match and ignoring your own doubts. This can look like empathizing with another person’s struggles or suffering behind an angry moment, forgiving, and then overriding the fact that the person you’re dating repeats this pattern and has a greater anger problem. Or the fact that a person you’re dating continues to cancel, change, and reschedule your plans together, which could be a signal that they struggle with commitment. This can lead empaths to date people who cannot meet their core emotional needs and, in the worst of scenarios, to enter into abusive relationships. Keeping these three strategies in mind can empower you to shift your dating experience from going along with shaky relationships and emotional intensity to finding a truly nourishing bond. Over time, you’ll learn who is a better match for you and catch when people are not sooner in the process. Today, Moberg empowers big-hearted, empathic people to stand in their power, trust their intuition, and live their truth. She has reached thousands of people through consultations, weekly classes, workshops, trainings, and speaking engagements. She teaches Intuition 101 and is the podcast host of Tune In with Marci, and she has been featured on The Huffington Post, Reader’s Digest, Bustle, and other publications.
