Here’s what it really means to be an HSP, the pros and cons, and how to deal with it, according to experts. As psychologist and relationship counselor Margaret Paul, Ph.D., tells mbg, much of what we now understand about HSPs comes from the work of clinical research psychologist Elaine Aron, Ph.D., who authored both The Highly Sensitive Person and The Highly Sensitive Child. Aron’s research found that about 15 to 20% of the population are born with a nervous system that’s different from the rest of the population, says Paul. “It’s a nervous system that is more reactive to stimuli—it’s a nervous system that can feel things more deeply.” More recent research has expanded on these findings, showing that these reactions in the nervous system are actually due to increased blood flow in the areas of the brain that process emotion, awareness, and empathy. So what causes a person to be highly sensitive, then, does indeed lie in the nervous system and the brain. “And what Elaine Aron found is that [high sensitivity can be found] in every population. She gives an example in her book of deer, where the deer will go running into a field, but a couple of highly sensitive ones will stand on the edge and tune into whether it’s safe,” Paul notes. Because of their keen sensitivity, they also tend to be empathic, noticing the moods or energy of others and even the energy of physical spaces. This can make them very caring and nurturing, which Paul notes narcissist types may take advantage of. In her experience, she has found HSPs are less likely to display narcissistic tendencies or anger issues but rather a soft and compassionate approach to others. Many HSPs may not even be able to watch violent movies, for instance, because their sensitivity is so strong. Ahead are some signs of a highly sensitive person, according to Paul and other experts. Paul echoes this point, adding, “There are many things that affect health problems, but one of them is self-rejection, which a lot of highly sensitive people feel.” As she explains, “They’re rejecting themselves rather than loving themselves. They’re creating a lot of stress, and that can lead to illness. And so it’s hard to say, but I think that anytime people don’t accept themselves in any way, and they’re not loving themselves—emotionally, spiritually, physically—then they’re going to be more prone to illness.” Indeed, one 2020 study published in the journal The Highly Sensitive Brain2 found high sensory-processing sensitivity can predispose individuals to health issues under “harsh” conditions, namely, poor social outcomes and more self-reported physical health problems. According to Irene Langeveld, M.S., an energy worker who specializes in helping sensitive and intuitive people thrive, grounding can be difficult for HSPs hard because a part of them feels out of placed or unloved. “Healing or integrating this part of you that doesn’t want to be here takes time,” she previously wrote for mbg. For instance, Paul explains, the highly sensitive people of Indigenous cultures in the past were often the shamans and healers of their communities. “But we live in a very left brain culture now, and so highly sensitive people have not been revered—but I think that’s just starting to happen,” she adds. Highly sensitive people do, after all, generally have an easier time accessing their intuition than the rest of the population. “They have an easier time tuning in to other people’s feelings and feeling that empathy and that compassion,” she adds. When we look at those things as a strength rather than a weakness, the whole narrative can change. As certified reiki master and intuitive coach Marci Moberg, M.S., previously wrote for mbg, “When sensitive souls learn the right skills and tools, their sensitivity can be their most powerful ally. Over time […] sensitive souls who struggle in relationships can learn to shift their relationship to their sensitivity from kryptonite to superpower.” Let’s make it clear, though, that being an HSP is not classified as a mental illness, and it will only hinder the sensitive person to think of it as such. HSPs are, however, potentially more prone to being traumatized. According to Paul, “They’re more easily traumatized because the nervous system is getting activated more, when for [non-HSPs], things can roll off their back easier.” Then, of course, there’s the aforementioned research about adverse physical and mental health outcomes—but take these with a grain of salt. Being an HSP isn’t a curse or an ill-health prophecy, and learning how to take care of yourself as an HSP is key. As Paul says, “The main challenge is to accept this as a gift, because it is not an easy gift, especially if you’re a child who doesn’t have highly sensitive parents or they don’t understand it,” adding, “Once they accept it as a gift, and they do their own research, and they understand what it is, then it becomes much easier to take loving care of themselves.” And as psychotherapist Annette Nuñez, Ph.D., LMFT, previously told mbg, inner child work can be particularly helpful for intuitive empaths in order to start unpacking and understanding the experiences you’ve had in your life and how they could be contributing to current issues (i.e., trauma, suppressing your sensitivity, etc.). Of course, finding a therapist is always a good idea if you’re struggling, and it would be particularly beneficial to find one who specializes in HSPs. If there aren’t any specialists near you, there are plenty of online therapy options available today to help you find exactly what you need. And in terms of feeling ungrounded or overstimulated, it’s very important for HSPs to have an arsenal of relaxation techniques in their toolbox to lean on whenever they do feel their nervous systems lighting up and, further, to know when they’ve reached their limit and need to rest and recover. Long story short: Everyone needs a healthy amount of self-care, but HSPs may need a bit extra to feel balanced. But when you learn to work with this keen sensitivity, it can, in fact, allow you to experience life more deeply—and that is a beautiful gift.
